Communication is a skill that we must diligently work on. People and situations are always changing and we have to work hard to keep the lines of communication open and flowing. No one gets it right 100% of the time. We are all a work in progress.
AND is one of my favorite words. It’s a powerful word that connects thoughts and ideas. It expands ideas. It builds a bridge to change and it creates a pathway to close a gap. AND is amazing!
Every adult at some point has a conversation with a child that seems to go on forever. Why? Because the child keeps connecting their thoughts with the word AND. The adult tries to keep up and may even try to slow the child down so they can respond, but the child keeps going, fueled by their enthusiasm.
This is a great example of how AND can create excitement for adults too and we need more of that, don’t we? AND is such a powerful word, but often gets drowned out by our either/or world.
Here are four ways you can use AND to improve your communication and relationships.
Intentionally Connect Your Thoughts
AND connects our thoughts and ideas. Consider the example above. Adults can use AND to generate enthusiasm intentionally. Just connect 2 or 3 positive statements:
We’re gaining momentum and we’re reaching new customers and we’re going to blow out our goals!
We all know how easy it is to mis-communicate and mis-understand. That’s why it’s so important to be intentional about what ideas you. You need to know what you really want to say:
I’m excited about your new job and I know you’ll be amazing! It’s a clear and simple compliment.
But here’s how it can get confusing:
I’m excited about your new job, but I think it’s a stretch for you. What are you saying? There are 2 different messages here. This is a backhanded compliment. Now the other person’s confused and you probably aren’t aware of what you did.
Using AND to intentionally connect your thoughts is the opportunity to be clearer in your communication and over the long-term, reduce the risk of relationship issues.
Build Upon Ideas
AND can expand. It is not either/or. It can take you beyond the obvious into the hidden possibilities. You can use it to expand you own thinking and as a tool to build your team’s thinking too.
Imagine being in a meeting AND your team is stuck on a problem AND you need a quick way to get unstuck AND you only have 10 minutes. (notice how I connected these ideas and gave them equal importance?). Here’s how you can make the most of those 10 minutes:
Make a statement about the problem and tell team you’re building on ideas by using the word AND. Then after every response, say AND. Before you know it, you’ll start to free up everyone’s thinking and generate ideas to resolve the problem. For example:
Ok, we need to generate additional revenue by the end of the year. One idea is to ask existing customers for referrals AND…AND…AND…
Using AND to build upon ideas, can help you get to your best ideas together.
Build a Bridge
Physical bridges are built to help us cross over from one place to another. In relationships, there are times when we need communication bridges. AND can be that bridge.
Two leaders were struggling in their relationship. Everyone could see it and feel it. It was not good and needed to be dealt with. Finally, one of the leaders decided to step up to see how the relationship could be improved.
He made an appointment with the other leader and simply said, “I’m not sure how we got here and I’m willing to do whatever it takes to work through our issues.” Now that’s a bridge – willing to go more than halfway! The other leader was totally disarmed.
Using AND to build a bridge, can breakdown defenses and change relationships.
Create a Pathway to Close a GAP
In our current political climate, what if our politicians focused on building bridges instead of building walls? What if they took this approach:
We have a problem (or an opportunity) and we see the issues differently. If we continue down this path, nothing gets resolved (or we miss out) AND the problem remains (or the opportunity is lost). I propose we bring our best ideas to the table AND have an honest, respectful discussion about how we can work through the issues with the greater good in mind AND commit to reaching an agreement we can all live with.
Using AND to help close a gap, can help people resolve issues in a way they can support.
AND really is a powerful, underutilized word! It connects, expands and unites. Try using it more and see how your communication and relationships change!